Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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