We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
where are my eyebrows?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
