She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
