Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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