i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
