Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
