did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
