Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
