ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
