Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
