the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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