Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize