the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love having hate sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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