i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
