you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
