dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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