she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
