omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
