when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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