she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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