i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
not ubering you a puppy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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