We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
