D3 body, D1 cock
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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