so explain again why im purple
no
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
