So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
