If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
