you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
