Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize