there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
