He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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