I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
