is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My bed smells like the plague
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
