At least make sure they are 18
Why
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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