i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
