"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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