It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
