Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
