I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
