My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
