There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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