Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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