Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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