Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She said her name was "party"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize