wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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