just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
