My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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