It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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