Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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