Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
where are my eyebrows?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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