Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
