I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
