Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
