You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
