Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
