Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
