Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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