is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
