i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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