i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
