The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
