Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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(631): View more from New York

Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.

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(941): View more from Florida

I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now

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(360): View more from Washington

All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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(519): View more from Ontario

she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"

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(516): View more from New York

Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box

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(740): View more from Ohio

omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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(650): View more from California

you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she compared me favorably to her vibrator

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

which one?

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