Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
